The Transformation in the obnoxious Teen begins in the unconditional love of an Adult Parent who knows how to establish accountability. The big “A” word. Accountability teaches the teen that he or she must work for things and that hard work will pay off. The parent must display “Love with firmness”. Family Rules must be clearly explained and not assumed. All children/ Teens must learn to listen to theAdult parent.
The bible speaks in Proverbs about training. Yes, this training every day must be displayed from the Adult. As much as society says that discipline is not necessary that is not an eternal truth. Fair and just discipline is a form of LOVE. There should be a strict morning routine, mid afternoon routine for homework, and evening routine that builds structure.
A key skill is to establish “Active Listening Skills” early in the development of the child/teen. This one skill establishes face to face communications. This one skill will establish rapport and bonding because mutual respect is being fostered. A parent has to be deliberate and intentional in getting the child/teen to look up at the adult. Confidence is being developed early in the formation of the child/teen. This is not old fashion but effective in establishing social manners, politeness and effective bonding.
Accountability is established by giving a Teen work tasks in the home and supervising those work tasks. Work tasks should be started as young as age three by getting the child to make his or her bed before breakfast, for example. Moms should not make the beds but allow the child to do this task. Order and structure are being taught. Both girls and boys are taught this.
The spiritual concept taught here is that the child must be a meaningful person in the home. If the child. starts early and gets small rewards from the parent such as a smile, the child will learn that he or she gets approval by doing tasks quickly. A parent can make this task fun by praising the child/ even older teens. Setting up expectations for the child/teen teaches the child that responsibilities are expected and that learning tasks can be fun and quick. Making work tasks fun and efficient gives the child/teen the thinking “I can do this easily”.
Permissive Parenting does not work but teaching the teen to be responsible and accountable for his or her actions is what builds up the teen to have pride and self worth in himself or herself. A teen wants a Leader as an adult that will role model excellent behavior in front of them. Poor role modeling teaches the teen that he or she does not have to be respectful to authority figures. Later that one flaw will cause conflict in the teenager.
I am giving you a few tips in what builds Accountability in a teen. I will provide more at a later session.
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